..flaws (or things that i've accepted in myself)..

So after a conversation that I've had with one of my closest friends, I have been really anazlying things in my life that I could maybe change and make things easier on people (myself included). I feel like I've really changed over the last few years. I've gotten rid of some really bad habits, I'm working on becoming more healthy, and financially stable. I'm really proud of those things. However I do feel that there are things that other people might see as faults. They are things that I know are hard to deal with sometimes and that don't really make sense, but they are also things that make me, ME. So I have decided to accept them because the people who really love me and are meant to be in my life will understand that. :)

1). Emotional. I cry over nothing. Or I cry over everything. Potato, potahto. I'm emotional. I don't think that comes as a shock to anyone. Usually girls, are emotional. Maybe not as much as I am, but still. I cry. I'm moody. I throw fits. I pout. I guilt trip. Good news? Being emotional also means that when I'm happy, I'm EXTREMELY happy. When I love, I love with my whole heart. I put everything I have into my relationships with all the people in my life. I may feel things really intensely, but it's not JUST the bad things.

2). I read WAY too much into everything. If you short text me, I will over analyze it. I will wonder why you are sending me one word texts and assume it's because you hate me. Or you're pissed off at me. Logically? I should assume you are busy. Or that you're being safe and not texting and driving. But I don't. I will decide you hate me and pester you all night about why you hate me. Sorry about that. Good news? You will never get short texts from me. I will overthink everything I say to you to make sure I don't hurt your feelings.

3). Insecure. "Yay! Insecurities!" I don't think anyone ever says that. No one likes them, but they aren't something you can just get rid of. More than likely, any insecurity or self conscious feeling you have derived from an instance (or several) in your life. And sometimes, those kinds of things just don't go away. My "insecurities" come from in the past choosing to keep people in my life who were really toxic. People who would constantly remind me how lucky I was to have them in my life, while slowly breaking down any self confidence I have in myself. People who were shady and hurtful and said things that people who care about you should never ever say. This wasn't just one instance. And this was absolutely my fault. I had the power to change that and eventually I did. However, it has left me with some extreme trust issues and some unbelievable scars. If you are close to me at all, you know this. If you are being shady, if you are being manipulative, I will constantly compare you to these people. Even if you aren't, but I feel like you are giving me signs relating back to things that have happened to me in the past, I will jump to the worst possible conclusion. Good news? I will go out of my way to make sure that I'm being open and honest with you. I will be on your side through anything and tell you 800 million times how much I love you and how lucky I am to have you in my life. You never have to worry about me betraying you because I would never want you to feel the way that I know I've felt when someone I love has stabbed me in the back.

4). Reassurance Whore. This ties together with insecurities. I expect you to tell me how awesomely amazing I am. I expect you to tell me you love me. I expect you to reassure me when I'm having a rough night and am being difficult and hateful and trying to start fights with you. I know I'm a pain in the ass sometimes. I know I expect a lot, but I promise I will do the same exact thing for you when you need it. Probably even when you don't.

I make a lot of mistakes. I'm nowhere near perfect. I say things I don't mean. I am HORRIBLE at confrontation. I can't prioritize to save my life. I spend too much time on Facebook. I don't know anything about politics. I will drive you crazy sometimes. But...

I'm me. Take it or leave it. :)