..i want to forgive you and i want to forget you..

I am a fan of the random bullet blogs today so that is what you are going to get. Yay!


- For the first time in my grown up life, I now have cable and internet in my apartment. Congratulations are in order.

- I also bought a desk last night for said computer. Since I am a girl and lack the fundamental tools to put together said desk, I improvised. I was mocked, but it turns out you CAN put together a desk with super glue and a butter knife when you do not have a screwdriver. It was currently still standing when I left for work this morning, so I consider that a job well done. And I'm slightly impressed with my talent.

- It is possible to have a heart attack when you are 25 years old. Especially when your boss tells you that you (and other managers) have until July 1st to "break even" or you may lose your job. Hearing this will not only make your heart stop for a minute, but it will also make you burst into tears directly following meeting. Don't be embarrassed.

- I am currently out of Tylenol PM. Turns out when you admit to your "best friend" that you may have an problem (jokingly), he will take the Tylenol PM and flush it down the toilet. Tough Love.


- Scenario: (completely hypothetical of course) Say you and a close friend had a falling out. You were horrible to them for quite a few years and pretty much made their life miserable at every opportunity you could. Say they may need extensive psycho therapy for several years to come. So now you're "changing" your bastardily ways and wants this friend back in your life. You have tried to contact said friend numerous times, through email/text/calling/facebook, etc and have not recieved one response from them in any way, shape or form. You also noticed that this friend has now blocked you from contacting them on Facebook. Also, everyone who you know tells you that you need to just back off and leave this person alone. If you are going to be forgiven EVER (which you won't be), you need to let this person come to you in time. So knowing all of this, your next step would be:

A. Respect this person's wishes and all advice given to you and leave them alone. Learn something from the situation and move on and apply to the current relationships in your life.

or

B. Continue stalking and emailing and texting and calling this person to try to wear them down. All the while insisting "you've changed", "you aren't doing this to get into anyone else's good graces", and "you wish there was something you could buy "friend" to make up for everything shitty you've done".

Hmmm.. Tough one. (

Totally hypothetical. Of course.

- On a completely different and unrelated note, when a particular someone says "Everyone else can forgive me, why can't you?", it may cause me to see red and have rage blackouts. First of all, you ASS, you've been a mental terrorist for the better part of the last 4 years. I'm pretty sure if you'd done to them what you've done to me, they wouldn't even bat a lash in your direction. So go ahead and try to make nice with every single one of my friends to try to prove that I'm unforgiving and being unreasonable, but that isn't going to change the fact that I want nothing to do with you. At all. Ever. Thanks!

-Lagoon in coming. I am excited. :) And I don't care if you're judging me.

..late saturday/early sunday thoughts..

- Of course, first: Happy mother's day! Not only to my mom, but to my grandma and my awesome sister and aunt's AND to the mothers of my friends whom I love like my own. I look up to you all so much.

Moving on...

- Obviously I have separation anxiety. My best friend has been on vacation for a week now I am scratching my eyes out. I hate when people leave. I think it has to do with every single person that I get close to and really trust... moves away. And with this particular instance, it is even worse because he is planning on moving there. So him being there right now just made it that much more real. I'm not ashamed or too proud to say that it kind of turned me into a mess. Yeah, everyone has talked about it. All the time. And I "pretend" to throw a fit about it and be mad. That "anger" is hiding more hurt than you know. To make it worse, it's not just one friend. It's my best boy friend. My best girl friend. And 3 or 4 other good friends. All at the same time. I can't guarantee I won't have a minor melt down when it happens. Just saying.

- Part of the way for me to handle people leaving is to push them away before they move. Be prepared for that. I'll try not to do it but I can't promise anything. Don't let me.

- I also can't guarantee I won't try everything I can to get you guys to stay. Including all the statistics of how many people got killed in LA in the last year. And how expensive it is. I'll be doing research.

- Haha. Even though I just bitched about everyone leaving me (the irony is that its okay for me to leave you, just not you to leave me), I fully plan by this time next year living in Washington. I want to work in Seattle. Maybe not LIVE right in Seattle, but I want to live in Washington. I always have. So I'm really going to pull myself together this year and get there. It's an experience that I think I need to have in my life while I'm young.

- I may have a Tylenol PM addiction. I'm currently seeking help.

- I also like Vicodin when it makes my legs fall asleep.

- I LOVE Cody Jensen. I can't even explain how happy I am to have him back around. He is amazing. That's all.

- I want my effing iPhone (ROBBIE!)

- How much do I love $1200 checks every two weeks? Seriously. Its amazing that I'm actually making good money right now. This may turn me into a workaholic. And I'm okay with that.

- Cherry Soda? OMG amazing. Bad for me? Yehhhhhhh. Meh meh meh.

I apologize for the randomness of this post. I'm (shocking) starting to feel the Tylenol PM. Hehe.